“My Self-worth is…
Quincy Jones is famous for the phrase: “my self-worth is not dependent upon your approval of me.”
It’s natural to feel unsure of yourself and look for reassurance. We all do it. I’ve come to believe that performers have an abundance of a “look at me, look at me, look at me” gene. It’s unavoidable. It is also natural for you to feel insecure when you are exposing yourself to criticism or judgment. Vulnerability is a huge part of the creative process.
Composers are afflicted with the same tendencies but they manifest themselves differently with people who spend an inordinate amount of time alone.
Expecting a client to reassure you emotionally can have disastrous results in a business relationship.
You are there to solve your client’s problem.
Your client is not responsible for your emotional well being. Chances are few will even care.
I’m sure you can recall times when you’ve lost it emotionally…and things didn’t work out well.
Learning how to create boundaries and manage your emotions will help you maintain a professional business relationship and make you a valued collaborator.
- Know your triggers
- Clarity of purpose will help you define your responsibilities.
- Detaching your emotional needs will allow you to better serve your client.
Take some time and write down what gets you upset. If you get it out of your body it will be easier to be objective. You can then take positive steps to manage your reactions and (hopefully) keep you from shooting yourself in the foot.
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